How to Poop (TIPS)

Every human does it, but only few really admit to doing it. It’s seen as improper, nasty, indecent and dirty, and for a good reason. Pooping is very often, a smelly state of business.

A lot of people have their reasons to be embarrassed of pooping, especially when its in public paces, at work, or someone else’s home. These people often, in those moments, prefer to choose not to go to the toilet at all. Sadly, this can result in severe stomach-aches, and it’s not at all good for your body.

If you’re one of those insecure people, who never utilizes another toilet then the one in your own home, then I have some advise for you:
GO AND TAKE THE DAMN DUMP!

Seriously, you should. It’s the same when you feel tired; if your body signals you that something has to be done, like sleeping, eating, peeing or pooping, you should listen to it! Your body doesn’t signal those things for nothing!

Now, you’re probably thinking:
“I know that everyone does it, and I know my body doesn’t signal just to annoy me, but I still feel super embarrassed whenever I go to drop the kids of at the pool,”

Don’t worry, I totally get this. I don’t feel like a Dinsey princess either when I’m sitting on the toilet. However I did find a few ways to make it less of an awful experience for you and those who use the toilet after you.

Here are my top tips and tricks to let you take that dump!

The Smell

One of the main reasons most people are embarrassed is the smell. But there are several simple ways to minimize this.

  • Make sure you sit down properly. If the toilet you have to use is a bit nasty, just cover the seat with toilet paper. Now sit down, and try to let your legs and booty cover the entire opening of the seat. This way it’s harder for the smell to come out.
  • Flush between takes. If you know you’ll be sitting there for quite some time, just flush now and then. The more poop, the more the smell. The longer it lies there, the longer the smell has to try and escape. This also means that it’s smarter to flush first before you wipe. It’s you’re choice; flush like 20 times or leave behind a godforsaken smell…

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    image source: GroupMe
  • Bring a small perfume bottle or tiny deodorant with you. These days, most deodorants have pocket editions. You can bring these with you in a bag or, of course, in your pocket whenever you go to visit the toilet. A lot of stores sell travel size perfume bottles nowadays. These are small bottles, which can be filled and refilled by any perfume of your choosing. Don’t want people to know it’s you? Just buy a scent you normally don’t wear.

 

The Sound

Often, the sound is also something people are embarrassed of. I know people who don’t even feel comfortable when others can hear them pee.

  • Turn on the water tap. If you have a tap or sink in your toilet, just put it on. The water can cover up some of the sound.
  • Don’t have a tap or don’t want to waste water? Put on some music on your phone. You might think this is a bit stupid, but it’s either that or someone hearing you drop ‘em one by one. And who knows, I personally think I wouldn’t mind some music when I would be the one sitting in the stall next to you (as long as it’s not techno or something that is). With that, it would cover my sounds up as well. If you like this idea, you can even talk to your manager/supervisor or boss about the possibility of installing a radio in the toilet. If you don’t try it, you’ll never know!

 

The Time

It’s important not to force things when you’re finally sitting there. For some people this means that their visit to the bathroom can take quite some time.

  • Go multiple times a day. If you can just go and dump the main issue. You might know or feel that there will be more, but if you can, cut it off and come back later. This way you can take short visits several times a day. Don’t want it to get noticed Do it while you run an errand, during your break, or just drink a lot of water. When people see you drink a lot, it makes more sense when you go more often than usual, and you stay hydrated as well.

 

When you’re done doing your thing in there, make sure you check the toilet. Did you leave something behind? If you did, clean it. Seriously. If you don’t others will still know what you where doing in there, and trust me, they WILL be disgusted when they see your trail. There is always a toilet brush in the stall (and if there is not, you should have serious talk to the person in charge). Of course, those things aren’t the cleanest but you don’t have the cuddle or kiss the thing. Don’t look at it too much and try not to smell it, just use it what it’s for. Find it disgusting. Yeah, well it is. But it’s your doodoo. It’s your own. Comes from you. You do it at home too (at least I hope you do, otherwise you really are a nasty person). Would you use a toilet with skit marks? No, don’t think so, unless there was no other choice. NOW JUST CLEAN THE DAMN THING. You don’t have to clean the entire toilet but at least erase your own trails.

With these tips, it’s easy to leave behind a toilet, which is nice and clean and safe for others to visit.

Have any tips to add? Leave a comment below! I’d love to hear them.

And one last thing, before you close that bathroom door confidently behind you,

WASH

YOUR

HANDSjaneedit

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